M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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