tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
