Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
