Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
