hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
