so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
