she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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