exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
