You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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