I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
