Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
