Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
