wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
