i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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