i already hear my dad disowning me
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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