Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
