Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Randomize
