She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
