i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
