I want to stick my p in your. b.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
