evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
