She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
