so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
