just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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