Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize