You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Randomize
