Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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