I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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