VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Randomize
