and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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