Slut skills are useful in every country.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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