So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
