come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
