So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Just high enough for therapy.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
