I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
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