the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Randomize
