no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize