i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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