Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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