people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
