i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
