I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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