Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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