..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
