And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
