just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
