Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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