If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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