I just threw up on my dentist
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
