We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
