we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
