Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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