Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
