Kiss
Puke
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize