My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
