you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
