I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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