Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
